One and a Half Technicals

Macho punters seems something of a contradiction in terms, right? I mean, we’ve all seen them duck out of tackling kick-returners, stepping aside and waving them through like matadors facing bulls. They are a species whose natural running speed is “fast enough to look like I’m trying to make the tackle, but not fast enough to actually get there”. But machismo is fundamentally a mental condition rather than a physical one, an affliction brought on by the ego, and punters have egos just like everyone else on the field… they just make themselves manifest in other ways than knocking linebackers into last Thursday.

To be fair to them, punting and kicking off is a fairly thankless task. Nobody notices when you do it well, they only notice when it goes wrong (yes, this post is inspired by the Broncos v Bears game last night!). The punter is the person who comes on when you’ve botched your drive and have to give the ball to the other team; there’s really no way he can get himself any glory. So how does he measure himself? He does it by the stats. Ok, that’s fair enough… that’s how everyone in US professional sports measures themselves. But the crucial point is, he measures himself by the WRONG stats.

Ask any punter (if you just happen to bump into one on the streets) what his stats are for the season, and I guarantee you they will tell you what their average punt length is, and what their longest punt is. Some smarter ones might also tell you their average net punt length as well, because they have noticed that there is a guy on the other team who always tries to catch the ball and run it back. These are the areas that they measure themselves in. It must be, because it is the only way I can think of to explain the way so many punters go about their work on the field. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen a punter in midfield boot the ball through into the endzone for a touchback instead of hanging a high ball in the air and forcing the opposition to fair catch or let it be downed by your special teams unit.

Is this because they aren’t skilled enough to kick with control, accuracy, or anything other than power? Compared to punters of previous generations the general standard has definitely taken a dive… the “coffin corner” kick is a dying art that will soon need a coffin of its own. But I don’t buy that they aren’t good enough. They just choose to go the macho route of kicking the ball through the endzone because they would rather have a 50 yard punt on their record than a shorter one. They want to be known as the guy with the big leg. What actually happens when you kick like this, as Todd Sauerbrun evidenced last night, is that you become known as the guy with the small brain.

What actually matters when punting or kicking off are:

1) average starting field position of the opposition

2) number of punts downed inside the opposition 20 yard line

3) number of returns for touchdowns

If you keep #1 deep, #2 high and #3 low, you’re doing the best job you can for your team. But if you ask your punter that you stopped in the street what his numbers are in these categories (assuming he hasn’t made his excuses and run off by now*), then they’ll gasp like you just pulled them tail-first out of a fishtank.

Yes, there are exceptions, but for most of the NFL punting/kick-off brethren it is this inability to grasp how to do the best job you can for your team that means we will keep seeing people hammer the ball into the hands of Devin Hester et al (followed 10 seconds later by waving goodbye to them on the 30 yard line) instead of kicking to the sidelines. Most of the ”big leg brigade” will continue to pound the ball as far down the field as possible at every opportunity regardless of the situation, in the mistaken belief that they can kick the ball far enough that Hester, Roscoe Parrish, Darren Sproles and co won’t be able to run it back. But they can, and they can change a game by doing it. A season even… the Sauerbrun v Hester match-up last night keeps Chicago in the play-off hunt (just about) and knocks a big hole in the AFC West hopes of a Broncos team with a tough schedule to finish out the season.  

The fast legs will defeat the big legs, unless the big legs start to use their brains.

- Dan T

* taking care of course to run just slowly enough that the chores are just about finished when he arrives home.